O pássaro apontou no pequeno espaço entre o telhado e o muro, entrou pela varanda, foi lá na cozinha, ficou um tempo, saiu de uma vez. Subiu. Sumiu.
Durante todo o tempo em que o pássaro permaneceu ao alcance dos meus olhos, eu não disse nada. Só pensei. Só, voei.
O que um pássaro veio fazer em minha casa, já quase sem sol, neste espírito da tarde? A quê devo a honra dessa tão enfática visita?
Como se o pássaro tivesse entrado por um buraco na minha cabeça, indo bater lá no peito, eu me senti a morada de algo que posso imaginar, uma parábola infinita, como todas as palavras sentidas deste parágrafo.
Eu não precisava acreditar no que estava vendo. Bastava viver, deixar entrar o instante, o pássaro, aquela inconstância de uma asa que, suavemente batendo longe, reverberava aqui dentro, bem dentro, muito dentro de mim.
O dia fora corrido, como têm sido corridos os dias de crise com o mundo caindo sobre a cabeça da gente, como têm sido acelerado, por outra razão, o tempo de espera da Copa do Mundo, quando o mundo haverá de cair aos pés do Brasil, que dribla as suas adversidades para não se deixar vencer, apesar dos pesares, como eu driblo a todos, inclusive a mim.
O pássaro extraordinariamente trouxe na ponta de seu bico, como um beija-flor irrevelado, o que está refletido em meu coração, porque imediatamente reconheci em seu olhar o olhar que aconteço em resistência à cidade que me empurra cada vez mais para mim.
Saibam: eu teço a minha sobrevivência, com as pálpebras.
Ao mesmo tempo eu vim à tona naquele espaço celestial entre a chegada e a partida do meu espanto. Um tempo… pássaro.
Você poderá dizer: ‘Mas que negócio é esse de se encantar tanto com fato tão comezinho, com detalhe tão do caminho, menos de um minuto em 24 horas de um estupor não mais do que passarinho?’
Você poderá falar qualquer coisa sobre mim, mas nada poderá dizer sobre o que está dentro de mim, e que vem, como veio – verbo, substantivo –, lá de fora, com o pequeno animal inesperado.
Há nisso tudo uma autoria que implode mundo e explode junto, como a origem divina de tudo para todos, especialmente para quem sou, sendo quem sou ao som da inspiração.
Tem hora que minha única ambição é estar presente de alma e corpo ausente, estar na cozinha, no pássaro, no ar enquanto estou também – dentro.
Tem hora que meu desejo é ser inteiramente parte da energia, integrar o sistema tão subjetivamente que a única forma de me reconhecer seja a lembrança, a imaginação, o livro que está posto provisoriamente sobre a mesa, para ser levado. Lido.
Tem hora que quero estar na vida como estou no romance que leio, como estão os personagens que pouco a pouco vão me revelando, como se o impossível fosse um fim de dia sem pássaro, sem asas, sem a surpresa feito fábula.
O pássaro é a minha realidade.
O pássaro é a verdade e a vida dentro e fora de mim.
O pássaro é o voo que ouso alçar para o mais longe que existe, onde estou à vontade para pousar.
O pássaro é o que me leva aonde estou, e o que me enleva para onde vou.
Seu canto foi meu silêncio, o quanto respirei na pele.
Claro está neste sorriso descuidado: o pássaro é a minha razão de ser e estar – meu guia do início ao fim.
Ao fim: modo de dizer; modo de usar.
O que há da gente aos olhos de Deus?
O que há de Deus nos olhos da gente?
A história sempre, sempre, sempre continua.
Eis, pássaro, o que foi feito de mim. E eu, o que te fiz?
Publicado primeiramente em Sagres Online.
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