Os meninos crescem para o bem ou para o mal

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1183

Eu vejo Bolsonaro, outros veem um homem bem intencionado. Eu ouço Bolsonaro, outros escutam a voz de Deus ecoando. Eu falo Bolsonaro, outros gritam mito, líder e visionário. Eu não tenho dúvida sobre Bolsonaro, outros nem desconfiam. Há um descompasso entre eu e os outros. Quem está certo? Todos estão muito certos, inclusive eu. Certos de que temos a palavra final. Certos de que estamos do lado certo da história.

No fundo temos duas questões fundamentais. Uma, diz respeito às nossas convicções, pensamentos, valores. A segunda é de ordem moral. A primeira nos fundamenta. Diz quem somos como uma bandeira hasteada. É a base para nossos voos. A segunda nos sedimenta. Diz para onde voamos e como voamos. No fundo, no fundo, as duas coisas andam juntas e misturadas na mente e no coração. Mas divergem entre si e do mundo.

Eu defino Bolsonaro a partir do que eu sou refletindo – para dentro e como espelho. E reajo com meus sentimentos. A razão dos meus atos é a minha emoção. Quero um mundo melhor e nele não cabe Bolsonaro. Mas e o mundo melhor que outros querem e, nele, Bolsonaro é o centro? Cabem no meu mundo esses outros seres? Esse ser e estar estranho ao meu estar e meu ser? Eu me defino como melhor que aqueles com os quais não me sinto consoante? Bolsonaro é pior do que o universo que me cabe, mas é maior que o espaço sideral da minha vida.

Não quero complicar as coisas para que Bolsonaro seja o presidente da minha vida. Não o elegi e não o reconheço como tal. Quero apenas dizer que entendo que ele queira ser quem acha que é, e que muitos o validem em suas razões e emoções. E deixar claro que vou continuar minha luta contra o que ele é e o que ele representa – diante, claro, do que me faz quem sou. Também tenho aliados. Também tenho quem seja como eu, nos termos que nos diferenciam desses outros e de Bolsonaro. Eu luto pela vida como a minha por um fio. O fio da alma e espírito que não me deixam morrer diferente e distante do que sou de fato e de direito.

É isto. O Brasil está à beira do abismo, e tem gente achando que chão é céu. A dúvida, para uns, ou o dilema filosófico sobre Bolsonaro, para mais uns tantos, não é dilema nem dúvida: é pauta. E todo jornalista sabe o que isso significa, embora nem todos saibam o que fazer: pauta é sobrevivência de todos, você e eu, naturalmente. Pauta é resistência também, à parte os que advogam isenção absoluta, como se existisse alma sem corpo. Pauta é o que nos movimenta, para frente ou para trás.

Toda pessoa sabe o que significa vencer os que nos derrotam. Não é guerra santa em jogo. Nem é jogo. É guerra. Lembro quando a gente brigava nas ruas da minha cidade. Os de cima contra os de baixo. Éramos bons meninos contra nós mesmos, afinal. Porque derrotar o inimigo era uma coisa; satisfazer o ego, outra bem diferente. Os propósitos nos edificavam. Só que guerra é guerra. Uma hora os meninos bons eram os meninos maus que fizeram por merecer a vitória, mas também os que mereceram a derrota por serem quem eram.

Bolsonaro não merece vencer. Ele é o mau que eu quero derrotar. Os meninos crescem, e não se armam à toa. Vida é vida. Não é brincadeira. Filosoficamente falando, é Bolsonaro ou nós. Independência ou morte, Brasil.

*Texto publicado primeiramente em Goiás Notícia.

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